It really is so great to be able to commit to something and harvest the fruits of labor. As soon as I'm done with school I can commit to some greater things. My career is my career alone; I don't consider it a real passion, for it is a tool and a skill in which enables me to attain money. I want to chase after greater things and become not only physically capable of many things, but also become very knowledgeable. I'll be the jack of all trades and master of none and invest a lot into learning what I want. I'm still looking into a bunch of random after work courses at the moment.

In due time I'll have to cut myself away from meaningless things that merely comfort or entertain me. To become great, one must struggle through hardships. I'll need to literally destroy myself physically and mentally to force myself to be reborn. Distance myself from friends and push myself harder than ever. It will be easier for me than average people, because I've lived much of my life in solitude.

Lastly, I'll need to sleep earlier, wake up earlier simply to do hill sprints. Pain is my friend.

Stimulants aren't addictive, but they do grant me such states of body and mind worthy of such references as 'god mode'. It feels so good to be able to be the only one in the entire gym that appears to have gone completely berserk. I pick up the weights and push myself harder and harder with very little breaks in between. Little do I care for those awkward stares.

Shopping list: breasts (chicken), dress (shirt), and chuck taylors.

I don't know if I'm stressed or what, but I can't seem to sleep lately.

Everyone is bipolar to some extent, but what I actually wonder is how much am I? In two days I've went from happy to angry to depressed to wanting to be angry. It's an endless cycle. Whenever I'm really upset I subconsciously look for trouble, hoping that someone would confront me. Need to take boxing once I get driving again.

I finally got The Office: Season 3 DVD set. Best show ever.

My neighbors are trying to buy or sell me, or perhaps just inquiring about the my specifications.

A couple years ago the Filipino nurse/masseuse lady asked my father what ethnicity I was and my dad told her that I am Chinese, Japanese, and Filipino. She always says hi to me. Now, every time that I coincidentally happen to walk by when she is with her daughter, the mother will be like, "he is Filipino!" Why does it matter? This situation has occurred multiple times and it never fails. One time the Filipino daughter was sitting outside their apartment door with her brown gangster friends and the mother popped out of the door and said hello to me. As soon as I left the common area and closed my apartment door I heard, "He is Filipino."

Last week, the Korean family next door asked what ethnicity I am. There were two older men, and the daughter of the household present. The glasses old man said, "Excuse me, where is your homeland?" I love telling people that I'm fourth generation Canadian, especially white people. (Telling a white person that I'm fourth generation Canadian is the closest thing to shoving a rotten sausage into their face and screaming, "Fuck you, motherfucker!") I was pretty lazy and didn't want to go through my whole lineage, so I just told them that I was Chinese and Japanese. Which didn't turn out too well, since he pressed and I had to make up some fallacy lineage of what my parents were. He kept repeating everything to the daughter and told me even though I'm born here that I look Asian. The fuck? I am of Asian decent, it's not like being born here is going to magically turn me into a white guy.

Sometimes I wish I was one ethnicity just out of laziness.

I've been buying a lot of shoes lately, all of them being nike frees. Last month I bought 2 pairs of runners (5.0 and 7.0) and yesterday I bought one pair of 7.0 trainers. Now, I must get one of these transformers since I already own the exact same shoe.

I bought spike, which is a stimulant to help me intensify my concentration while I work out last week. As of this weekend, I've had to study a lot and do other busy things so I decided to try spike yesterday and today with very little sleep. Surprisingly I'm still conscious and wide awake and it does give me really powerful tunnel vision. However, I get the urge to maul anyone that annoys me the slightest bit. Tiny urges, but I've been thinking of mauling anyone of all ages and sizes. I get pissed off for no reason, maybe I just need sleep. Then again, I can't sleep because all of these stimulants. Damn it.