Month: September 2007

  • A Nigerian man spoke to me on the skytrain. Briskly, he spoke that men and women should be fruitful to one another.

    Talking of god and proudly presenting the cover of genesis, the man began to tell a tale. For many months, in his homeland there was no rain. One day a man decided to pray to god and begged, “send down the rain.” It automatically rained. “Amazing,” I proclaimed. And that my friends, is the story of how he believed in god.

    The Nigerian man followed me off the train and began to tell me how in Canada, meeting a girl is much easier. You can go to school, meet a girl, and also their parents. In Nigeria you have to sign some documents, go to the opposing tribe, pay an introduction fee of some sort, and then meet the girl. Then he began to go on about how he had a three room apartment and a girlfriend in each room. Somehow he made money off this, I can only imagine what he may have been talking about.

    Finally he said, his job in Canada is talking on the phone, using his hands through god to dial phone numbers and speak. No heavy labor, but a job he enjoys. He yelled at the top of his lungs at people on the opposite escalator, “Praise god and the book of genesis – may men and women be fruitful to each other.”

    On the way to the bus, he shook my hand and left. Half of the things he said made absolutely no sense to me.

    I enjoy listening to strangers, regardless of how ridiculous or shady I may find them to be. It gives me a different perspective of the world.

  • In the middle of the night I woke and felt fucking empty. This sadness really brings out a different side of me. When I go out and talk to people I sound like I’m pissed off and I constantly fantasize of inflicting pain upon random people. I roll around in bed for hours mumbling to myself and sometimes the frustration really gets to me and I end up pounding things with my fists, such as my own body. Curious, what kind of damage has been done to my head.

  • I was entranced within a complete illusion. A fantasy, regardless of how real it was, my mind was tricking my heart. I needed comfort and thats exactly what I got, but now I have nothing.

    I feel like I’m being strangled from the inside out and I can’t breathe. Something dearly important is missing. I know exactly what it is, but why can’t I reach out and grasp it within my hands? I reach out and clasp my fingers to find nothing within them but a thread of hair, a memory that can never be forgotten. Trying not to dwell, I push myself in other directions to be stronger, but the more I grow on the outside I feel as if I’m hollowing myself out. Soon I’ll be so thin that I’ll either have nothing in common with what I used to be or just fall apart. Years ago I used to think that I was a fighter and not a lover, but I’m starting to feel like I’m a lover that can do nothing other than fight.

    My fists are slightly bruised from all of this thinking. Funny how my heart is mystically interlocked with my fists.

    Acoustic guitar calms the soul.

  • Exams are stressful; more so than I ever imagined.

    I tried doing the wrestler’s bridge today, which I haven’t done in years and noticed that I’m starting to lose a lot of flexibility. That’s one thing I need to work on, for now. Still need to check up on the gym and see if it’s open yet, I really want to do some dead lifts right now.

  • System of a Down – Ego Brain

    Life is but a dream,
    Drifting on a stream, a stream,
    Consciously it seems,
    All of what remains,
    Ego brain,
    Man made shame,
    Shame, Love after it rains,
    You see my pain is real,
    Watch my world dissolve,
    And pretend that none of us see the Fall,
    As I turn to sand,
    You took me by the hand,
    And declared, that love prevails over all.
    I am just a man,
    Fighting other men,
    For land, for land,
    While I turn to sand,
    In spite of the pain,
    Ego brain,
    Man made Shame,
    Shame, Love after it rains,
    You see my pain is real,
    Watch my world dissolve,
    And pretend that none of us see the Fall
    As I turn to sand,
    You took me by the hand,
    And declared that love prevails over all.
    All of what remains,
    Ego brain,
    Man made shame,
    Shame, Love after it rains,
    You see my pain is real,
    Watch my world dissolve,
    And pretend that none of us see the Fall,
    As I turn to sand,
    You took me by the hand,
    And declared that love prevails over all.

  • I freaking hate electrical theory. As an electrician there are a lot of things that we learn in school that I don’t see ever using again. For example, when in the middle of a job site will I require to calculate the minimum base resistance for saturation of a type-N or type-P transistor? Hell, I don’t even see my self installing transistors… I want to just pass this shit course and get back to work.

    I’m so unreasonably simple minded that sometimes I just wish that there was no such thing as electricity.

  • On days like this, I simply feel dangerous and overly self-destructive. Hungry to break something or someone, even if I end up destroying myself in the process. I need a scapegoat to lay my burden of life’s misfortunes and lose myself in the process. Fuel for my fire. A life without misfortune and tragedy can’t be a touching story.

    I have no output for all my stress at the moment. My gym at BCIT has been shut down because it flooded during the recent rain storm last week. Maybe I’ll start running again tomorrow. High intensity training; run until my heart feels like it’s going to explode, then push even harder until I feel like I’m about to die. That should do it.

  • So, I’ve got somewhat ill this week and I’ve been getting plenty of rest. I went to the doctor the other day to take an HP test and see if I have some sort of stomach illness, but for some reason they gave me a blood test when I went to the BC Biomedical lab. I think it’s the wrong test! They want my precious O+ blood, it’s worth its weight in gold. Speaking of blood, I’m going to donate again once my sickness goes away. Free cookies and juice! Last time I donated blood 3 years ago I must have eaten at least 14 packs of cookies. Some woman walked by and was like, “Holy shit, what the fuck? That’s a lot of cookies.” Must always get my money’s worth.

    Tomorrow I’ll resume my hardcore training regime and literally rip my body into pieces. Then I’ll murder a pack of gum chewing toddlers. I got so pissed the other day when I stepped in bubble gum with my newest pair of Nike Frees. Murderously pissed. I was ready to maul anyone who spat that gum out, regardless if it was a new born or an old grandparent. Gum is the most ridiculously stupid thing ever. I hate gum and never chew it. Want minty fresh breath? Ever heard of brushing your teeth? I didn’t think so.

  • I’m feeling a bit ill, although I felt better earlier in the day.

    I went to school, then hit the gym and pushed really hard like I usually do. After a couple sets of step ups, I started to feel really light headed and had to sit down. My body was overheating and my heart was racing, later on I felt really cold. Pulled myself all the way home, showered and took a nap for two hours. I don’t understand how I even got to sleep considering I took 2 spike pills. Right now I feel okay, a bit tired, but I could be better. Studying for another stupid exam.

    Sickness is something I’ve avoided all summer, so I don’t understand how I got run down at this moment. I was looking forward for a good thorough week of training, too.


    Every morning, at the crack of dawn he took a stroll and walked the exact same route. Crept into the exact same houses and chipped away at the skulls of the very same people. Eventually he accumulated many handfuls of skull chips and stored them in his socks to feed to his garbage compost and vegetable garden. Fresh crisp cucumbers and fragrant cabbage. Eventually the towns people were missing entire top sections of their skulls and were curious how this had happened over the past few months. The worms were starved of their daily source of calcium and the gardener had to make an honest resolve. He planted earth worms in his friendly neighbor’s brains and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

  • Sometimes you may wish that life would just end, and it never does. Eventually you will have the greatest time of your life, then unexpectedly die.

    Firstly, life is ironic. Secondly, I should write for fortune cookies.