July 12, 2007
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My moods fluctuate quite frequently and I sometimes wonder if I'm bi-polar. Not your general type of bi-polar; more like depressed and nervous on one end of the spectrum to angry and sadistic. Maybe I'm happy when I'm angry and sadistic? Maybe I was meant to be one of those sadistic medieval tyrants that torture thieves or whoever they please for terrific family fun. Today, I am the latter. It's a really good motivator for working out, except at the end of the day sweat washes out so much easier than blood. If it were blood, maybe I'd just leave it there and let it continuously cake layer by layer... Speaking of blood I sliced my pointer finger on a piece of metal stud at work today, then two hours later I snipped into my thumb with a pair of wire strippers. The bad thing about having blood is that if you cut yourself it gets all over. Maybe I should have been born a robot, like the terminator.
Screw it, maybe I'll start writing more random and uncensored-like with my posts. Usually my brain filters all of the controversial stuff that I believe a lot of people would frown upon from entering any form of written material. I used to think it would be safer to keep my tracks clean. We'll see how much worse I can be... or not.
Comments (3)
I think similar thoughts, though, I'm an emotional masochist too. hah.
go protected?
Sorry, but i think your thoughts are rather tame. There are plenty more fucked up people on xanga.
people never change inside the core of who they are, well most unless you are a god.
So i believe every age is going to have individuals who possess attributes that don't serve much of purpose to regular society. Thus people like you with your medieval sadism, probably get sad over the emptiness ofnot being able to put your positives into constructive form.
yeah, I'm the OG of emo. bitches.
if i didnt know you, id think you were a serial murderer in the making. too bad i know you so im not afraid. IM NOT AFRAID, NOOB
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