The mind grows weary, day after day. Druge away for half a month, receive pay, dissipate coin in exchange for metabolic fuel and miscellaneous garbage, and repeat. It gets so monotonous that it fucking disgusts me. This 'paper' life can be so meaningless and without essence, infact it feels as if it is! I hunger for unconquerable passion; a quest for something to build, something to create, someone to fight against, something to do that will feed this empty hole in my chest.

Everyonce and a while I fall into a slump of depression and I have to either climb out of it or wallow in it and die. I get angry without any perticular reason. Angry at the world and angry at myself. I walk in the dark and shady streets when I'm alone hoping for conflict without fear. You can call me foolish and naive; I'll call myself hungry and insane. I wouldn't start a fight, but I would find great pleasure in ending one. I will feel no remorse for taking the lives that are offered to me.

Like most American adaptations of oversea television shows, Iron Chef America is a complete colon filled with shit. This chairman is just a lame poser who is undoubtably overshadowed by the original Japanese chairman Kaga. He's just too much of a wimp to take one bite into a green bell pepper and flaunts his weak acting skill on television. The only similarity to the original show is that they brought over Iron Chef Japanese, Masaharu Morimoto whom I recall lost more than any other Iron Chef.

Yet, for some reason I continue to watch every once and a while.

As of today since I received a stack of laminated certification cards, I am WHIMIS, Lockout, and CSABC Safety Star Certified.

Now you're probably asking yourself WTF does that do?
It allows me to work in places that I don't intend to work within as of the time being!

I haven't pushed myself too much before. With the help of my work out routine I've been able to increase my diet like insane. Like fucking insane, man. Fucking insane. My protein intake is atleast 300g per day. Every couple hours I eat a meal and every couple hours I get hungry again, like a starved wolf. Makes me want to march into that forest/park across the street, maul a pack of baby coyotes in the face with my forehead then eat them raw infront of their mother. Wahahahahaahahh...

Living in Canada, I must admit that I truely love the weather when there's snow on the ground and the air is so fresh, crisp, and with high oxygen density. Even though I've been sick all week, working outside today was so refreshing for my sinuses. I'm just dreading the thought of this summer since 'they say' that it's going to be the hottest year ever. Overall I prefer winter over summer, due to the fact that the air is cleaner and so am I due to the fact that I was born with superior sweat glands compared to the average human being.

Maybe I've watched too many gore flicks in the past, but sometimes I want to just show the world how much of a psychopath I could be. One day if someone pisses me off enough I'd probably drag them to a secluded area and torture them to death, giving them false hope that they could perhaps survive such a truely gruesome ordeal. In the end I would hang them from their feet, bleed them dry and skin them. Then I'd part their body exactly the way it says to on the interweb and feast upon gourmet human meals for a couple weeks! Ahaahahahahaha...

I do acknowledge the fact that I have below average social skills (especially when it comes to strangers) because I'm often too lazy to continue some conversations and I perceive 'small talk' to be completely useless. Nevertheless, I shall anticipate attending toast masters later on this year once I organize my work out scheduele more... forgot to take more of a rest when ill since heavy work outs plus a cold can really wear down my immunity system double time.

Ah-choo! Ah-choo! Fuck you! Fuck you! Damned common cold... I thought I'd be immune. Time to pop back plenty of drugs, vitamines, and natural herbs.

I've started to work out every day and double my diet this new years and so far so good. I didn't make any resolutions, because it's far better to actually 'do something' rather than to 'say' that you are going to do something.

Last night walking home an old vagrant woman approached me in a kind tone asking, "Help me, I'm hungry. Help me, honey, I'm homeless. Please, sir. Sir." Usually I'm quite blunt and rude to such people or maybe I'll mutter a quote with the intention to confuse, but I just didn't have the energy.

Starting to get addicted to teas again. My favorites being oolong, earl grey, and chai. I take all black except the latter.

One last day of no work!

In 2006 I feel that I haven't accomplished much. What have I accomplished? I attained my driver's licence and finished level 1 for construction electrical, however that doesn't say anything to me. It will be New Year's Day in less than 20 minutes and I feel obliged to accomplish more this year than ever before.

I will be reborn as a greater being, watch me and see.