POOR MAN's YAKISOBA

I've been trying to look for ways to make yakisoba with sauces laying
around the house, without using tonkatsu sauce. This also doesn't
require meat, so it's vegetarian if you're using artificial
oystersauce. Hence, "poor man's yakisoba."

-1pkg Instant Ramen
-1/2 a medium carrot
-1/2c Water
-1tbps Soya Sauce
-1ts Seseme-Seed Oil
-1ts Worchestire Sauce
-1/2ts Oyster Sauce

1) Take that 1/2 of a carrot and skin it down until it's nude. Then
hack away like a madman until it's in thin matchstick shapes, otherwise
known as juilette for those of you with half a brain. Not many people
have half a brain these days.

2) Throw all the liquids into a nice little skillet and heat at max.
Personally, I prefer cast iron, but hey poor people can't afford to buy
new pans. Bring to a boil. If you want you can put some of the noodle
pack's seasoning, but it might turn out a bit salty if you put too much.

3) Open the package and take out the noodle block. (Some people forget
that step) Now, toss it into the skillet and wiggle it around a bit so
it softens. When the bottom softens, flip it then keep wiggling it.

4) Now, now, now stir it until most of the liquid has evaporated. There
should be absolutely no extra liquid on the bottom of the pan. Don't
over fry it either or else your noodles will get stuck to it.

5) Throw the noodles into a nice dish and serve. This serves one person for those of you who didn't realize it yet.

MCON's VIOLENT APPLE SAUCE
Great recipe I invented hands on. It's also really economical if you
have any extra apples which are starting to go bad, just cut out the
brown parts! This ain't your generic in store sauce, the garam masala
is a really aromantic, fragrant, and warm spice, making it a really warming food or
topping. Also goes great when tossed into c*rr*, since this holds two
great additives. Yeah, apples and garam masala are great in you know what.

-6 Apples
-1c water
-1/2c white sugar
-1/4c brown sugar
-1tbsp lemon juice
-1ts fresh ground lemon peel
-1 cinnamon stick
-1ts cinnamon
-1ts nutmeg
-3/4ts garam masala
-1/4ts basil

1) Get a huge knife. Skin those apples, quarter them, then gash out the
cores as violently as you can. Extra violent means extra tasty. Now,
chop them into 1/2 inch slices then throw them into a medium sized pot.
2) Turn heat to about 8 and add toss in a cup of water, then let it boil. (Excluding the cup, you dumbass)
3)Add 1/2c sugar, 1/4c brown sugar, 1tbsp lemon juice, 1 cinnamon
stick, 1ts cinnamon, 1ts nutmeg, 3/4ts garam masala, 1/4ts basil. Grab
a cheese grater and a lemon and grind off about 1ts worth of the peel.
4) Grab a potato masher and bludgeon those apples to death. Keep
heating, stirring, and mashing. Keep doing this for 40 minutes or until
you think its about ready. Don't leave the stove idle! Remember, good
food needs love and care.
5) Pull out the cinnamon stick and trash it. Serve hot or cold.

Ow, I never knew punching bags damage the wrists when you fall in, punching with all your weight.

Anyways, lots of shit going around, not with me though. I'm worried
about my uncle, I heard he has a drug addiction and apparently he ain't looking too well. He's like my favorite
uncle too, he always gets nice cars, houses, clothes, really pretty
girlfriends, and has great taste in art, music. I'm not sure what
caused this addiction but his girlfriend left him and his good friend
commited suicide a couple months ago. Occupation wise, I'm not really
sure what he does, all I know is he organizes rave parties.

Okay, it's my time. No, I'm not dying. Probably coming back to BC in
mid april, before my birthday. I was thinking of a whole bunch of
routes to get back home, but I want to try something new. No more
shitty airplanes that pop-pop my eardrums. Greyhound is a cheap
transportation alternative. Definately a good idea during winter,
because people don't sweat or stink as much in contrast to the summer.
Anyways, now all I need is to find some immediate jobs for when I get
back.

Life is so difficult, I really don't know what to do with mine. First
thing is which school I get into. I wouldn't mind getting into York
because that would leave me with an endless amount of possibilities,
plus for the faculty of design 98% of students actually graduate. OCAD
has a much lower graduate percentage and I have no clue about ECAID. In
York I could either grad from the faculty of design or transfer to
another faculty. Alot of students who transferred from there went into
copyright law. But then again who says I'm getting into any, really?
What if I get into none? Then perhaps I'll need a backup plan. I could
either completely change my future or keep at it. Although my father
kept pushing it before, I really don't want to become an electrician.
In fact I refuse to do so, because I have more pride than to go back on
my word. So otherwise I could either go into printing tech (Canada's
3rd largest workforce) or culinary. Fuck, I better get accepted into
design.

Fucking interview at OCAD... All my self esteem seems pretty much
purged from my soul at the moment. There were two interviewers, ones
was a nice guy, the second was some monotone bitch who doesn't talk or
ask questions and skips through pages. What an asshole, probably one of
those crappy teachers who got an F rating on the myOCAD (unofficial)
website. Anyways I had 4 hours of sleep last night and don't feel too
great.

...This is the first time I've been an admin.

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum." A couple more days and I've
gotta march my way up to OCAD, armed and ready for another interview.
It turns out even mediocre students can get into any school as long as
they're as ferocious as a bull and armed with alot of shit to dish out;
hot, fresh, and smoking with steam. (Otherwise known as bullshit.)
Gotta over exaggerrate, over emphasize, and fucking slaughter them to
death. There's a big difference between poking a twig through a
marshmellow and timidly toasting it over a matchstick to impaling a
live boar with a spear, then going pyro with a flame thrower. Actually, I
have no idea how that figure of speech ties into anything.

EDIT: Fuck, I'm nervous. It feels like there's a bomb ticking away in
my head and it's going to expload any minute while little parasites
swarm around and slowly nibble away at my brain. Something tells me
it's
going to get worse and I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, trembling
towards the earth and yelling at ethereal figures which don't really
exist. Before you know it I'm throwing knives through the kitchen
window at pedestrians walking their dogs and yelling, "Jesus loves you
bastards, die!" Then at the end of the day I get a free ride to the
mental hospital where I get to wear a new jacket, it's called a
straightjacket, probably because only straight people are allowed to
wear them. I'm so fashionable.

While eating dinner there was a single pepper hidden in the pile of green beans. At first it was sweet, then it got hot, then it burnt a hole through the roof of my mouth! I ecstatically ran downstairs like a madman and spat the thing out, then downed two glasses of water. It felt better until the water was swallowed and then it got 100 times hotter! My mouth was buring it was like I was going to die. So, I drank orange juice and it got even hotter! I thought milk should do the trick and poured it into a shot glass. After I poured it into my mouth I read the due date on the carton. March 7, 2005! I spat the thing out immediately, it was expired! ...and that's my adventure of the day.

Starbucks has a top secret plan to crush it's competition inbetween
it's toes and make gooey coffee toe jam with foot fungus. Anyways, they
are going to install wireless internet into all of their branches!
Meaning, free bandwidth! All you do is plop open your laptop, connect
your wireless and bang, you got instant internet. I'm not sure if
they're going to block off BT or IRC, but still - if I wasted money on
coffee instead of making my own I'd go there. Then again, if I didn't
have a laptop - which I don't, I wouldn't really care. Coffee Time is
cheaper and awesomer. Yes my grammar is exceptionally fantasticer.

Other than that, I need a laptop. -and cash, I'm broke.