May 24, 2004

• Warning: Contains course language and gore.

  
  

  SUNDAY-- I don't know about my father sometimes, he's about more two-faced than a coin. One second he's a nice guy, then next he's a fucking asshole. He would never hit me ever, because he knows how it was when he was a kid, getting beaten by his dad (my grandfather). Besides that, remember how I said last day how he was selling the place.........

  
  

  Anyways, yesterday I was cooking food with him, then he's like raising his voice and going "No not like that, don't you remember", then I just nod, then later on he's like "No don't put it there"Ugh, do I have to do all the work, is my son so dumb, you stupid shit!", and kept yelling at me for some shit. Then he said "I'm fucking tired of this shit, that's why I am selling the fucking place, blah, blah.. work is fucking bullshit, I am going to quit my job and jump off the fucking balcony." "Why you always stay in your room, blah, blah..."

  
  

  I stared the stupid bitch right in the face with anger, showing him that I didn't like being yelled at for no apparent reason. (Fucking guy, go ahead kill yourself see if I give a shit.) He asked furiously, "What are you gonna do? Slug me?" Grr, I was so fucking angry, I stabbed myself in the left hand with a fork. I couldn't control myself but I started crying... (Why the fuck would I waste my time fighting my father, I mean, I don't like the asshole one bit, but I wouldn't hurt someone unless they attempted to physically hurt me one bit and if they seriously meant business, sure - hell I'd kill them.)

  
  

  He took the fork right out of my hand and just went back to cooking, two minutes later he noticed my hand was bleeding like hell all over the fucking place. He hugged me and said "Matthew, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, sorry..." Of course, I am always one to hold a grudge regardless of how much it would hurt me, thus I refused to hug him back. He just walked out and said, "You can't even hug me like a real son, I don't feel like eating anymore." (Is that supposed to make me feel fucking guilty? I don't give a shit, I swear parents that smoke are more fucked up.)

  
  

  What the fuck? I was seriously considering staying in this stupid province for post secondary. I'm probably not even going to stay anymore, I can't take this shit, might go crazy with a fucking asshole father around. Although my mom is nearly crazy and threatened to kill me when I was nine years old, atleast she's not a fucking two-faced asshole. She can be alot nicer than my dad. I really want to move out and never see my father again.

  • 11:37 pm
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