April 16, 2004

• Regardless of how many individuals that I keep present in my life; regardless of how many actually exist; a sad loneliness within the depth of my chest forever eats away at my essence during silent moments in the cold and miserable darkness. From this feeling, I am compelled to find myself, within myself. A calm and gentle being with his hand ready to draw a blood stained blade from it's sheath, thus relenquishing the unstable demon within. Prepared at all moments, a faint laughter is always to be heared echoing through the night in the darkness.

  
  

  A poem I wrote for the Templeton Anthology...

  
  

  I remember spending days trying to piece you together, part by part, just to figure you out.
  I remember us and our first memories together, which I will keep in my heart for the rest of my existance.
  I remember you; the distraction which tore me from my life of loneliness.
  I remember when everything else lost it's value and purpose to me, for you became that value, you became that purpose.
  I remember those who stood in our way and how I felt; willing to throw my life away for us, for without us there would be no life worth living.
  I remember risking my life, fighting for your existance, so that we could remain together.
  I remember watching extravagant films, listening to classical music with eachother.
  I remember the games of trickery and excitement that we shared.
  I remember our relationship giving me migranes and causing me to lose my family and friends.
  I remember how you made me smile, even when everything in life was falling apart.
  I remember how you destroyed my life's work and I never understood why..
  I remember being infuriated at you for your irrational actions which held no meaning.
  I remember concentrating pressure onto your face, putting you into a deep sleep.
  I remember hacking you apart; parts of you that I didn't even know existed, flying across the room.
  I remember tucking your remains into a hole in my bedroom wall.
  I remember you, my love and the memories we shared.
  I remember your scent, your taste, and feel.
  I remember your caressing your motherboard as the saleswoman began to introduce us.
  I remember receiving your hard drive through the mail, five days after winning an auction.
  I remember ordering your CPU through the internet, an imported model which could only be purchased in Japan.
  I remember carrying home a box loaded with the most elite components that one could ever desire.
  I remember you, my love, my computer.

  • 2:07 am
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