Regardless of how many individuals that I keep present in my life; regardless of how many actually exist; a sad loneliness within the depth of my chest forever eats away at my essence during silent moments in the cold and miserable darkness. From this feeling, I am compelled to find myself, within myself. A calm and gentle being with his hand ready to draw a blood stained blade from it's sheath, thus relenquishing the unstable demon within. Prepared at all moments, a faint laughter is always to be heared echoing through the night in the darkness.
A poem I wrote for the Templeton Anthology...
I remember spending days trying to piece you together, part by part, just to figure you out.
I remember us and our first memories together, which I will keep in my heart for the rest of my existance.
I remember you; the distraction which tore me from my life of loneliness.
I remember when everything else lost it's value and purpose to me, for you became that value, you became that purpose.
I remember those who stood in our way and how I felt; willing to throw my life away for us, for without us there would be no life worth living.
I remember risking my life, fighting for your existance, so that we could remain together.
I remember watching extravagant films, listening to classical music with eachother.
I remember the games of trickery and excitement that we shared.
I remember our relationship giving me migranes and causing me to lose my family and friends.
I remember how you made me smile, even when everything in life was falling apart.
I remember how you destroyed my life's work and I never understood why..
I remember being infuriated at you for your irrational actions which held no meaning.
I remember concentrating pressure onto your face, putting you into a deep sleep.
I remember hacking you apart; parts of you that I didn't even know existed, flying across the room.
I remember tucking your remains into a hole in my bedroom wall.
I remember you, my love and the memories we shared.
I remember your scent, your taste, and feel.
I remember your caressing your motherboard as the saleswoman began to introduce us.
I remember receiving your hard drive through the mail, five days after winning an auction.
I remember ordering your CPU through the internet, an imported model which could only be purchased in Japan.
I remember carrying home a box loaded with the most elite components that one could ever desire.
I remember you, my love, my computer.
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