Most of my posts are anger-oriented mainly because Xanga is basically the place where I can shout and scream to exert anything and everything on my mind. So in conclusion, just because my Xangar seems so melancholy and as if I'm always infuriated, you're wrong. Hah, bastards made me clear this up.

EDIT: +++
Just came back from the Chinese Acrobat show! I'm a big fat critic when it comes to these kind of things and I can honestly say that there were alot of 'oops' mistakes in the show! Like one of the girls dropped a couple plates and the other dropped the pot. -But, but, it was still pretty damn good!! Oh, man... Those acrobat chicks have really muscular arms; probably need it to do all of those crazy things.

EDIT #2: +++
Now, now, I just came back from a movie and a super cheap dinner!! Here goes... I saw 'Dawn of The Dead', which some people hated - but, I actually liked it!!  Yet, it really coulda used more suspense! Not gonna spoil it, yet... because 'YOU' should see it.  +++ Then went to Boston Pizza to eat get some grub, anyways... I spent $5  on a salad, but that's not all! The water came with lemons, so I stole a lemon  from everyone's water and put it in mine - then put 4 packs of sugar AND wow, free lemonade! Then I got bread from Angela, then stole a couple bites off Cody's dessert, and then finished off Jenny's dessert... Ahaha pretty damn good considering I had the cheapest bill.  And, yeah don't hit me, I said thanks to you?

Don't you hate it when you want to say something, but you can't?! Just because anything you say can impair everything in your life. Well, everything is a big word; more specifically a majority of people and future events in your life.  It's like political suicide; you have to be really strong to be willing enough to gamble everything away. Do I look reckless to you? Well to tell you the truth I can be very reckless when it comes to using brute force; whether it's technology or physically, but nothing like this... Har, har...

Anyways, I've been trying to push myself to do some cardio and hit the gym as much as my body will possibly allow. Including 'rest days' to repair of course!  Anyways, it's done wonders for my sleeping habits, since I'm alot more tired than usual.

Tomorrow I'll wake up early and do my morning routine, then some exercise! I'm planning to hand out resumes in the morning. Later at 2 PM, I have to go to the Chinese Acrobat show with my grandmother (lola). Then wayy later if I'm really up to it I might just catch a movie with my friends. After all's done, perhaps I'll do crazy amounts of homework.

I've been thinking all day about something and I'm not sure what to do... The safest bet when uncertainty comes across is to do nothing at all. Damn the world, I have no clue. I want to for reasons, and I don't want to aswell for other reasons. Everything and everyone makes my perspective of this situation biased - it just makes me wonder what if there was nothing? What would I really do... If you just read this paragraph and it makes no sense to you, don't worry you're not alone - it doesn't make any sense to me either.

What the hell, damn people trying to manipulate me to their own desires. It's not about fucking what you want, it's about what is benificial to people - you are unnecessary. Bah, you all. I really wish my gym had a punching bag... I'll probably buy one when I move to my place in Toronto, it's something I always needed. Why do you think you know everyone and you know whatever is good for them, well to tell you the truth you're horseshit. Enjoy.

Anyways, don't watch broken window or uerm... Secret Window!! Yeah, that's er the name. It was complete shit, the trailer made it seem like something of a suspense thriller on "The Butterfly Effect" caliber, which unfortunately it was not. It's really stupid, so I'm going to spoil it for you... Legolas is like crazy and imagines some guy who said he stole his book and kills all of the people in his life except the sherriff. I think he has a thing for the 70 year old sherriff. >.< -Yeah, so anyways don't bother.

I also saw Passion for Christ, it was pretty good I suppose. So, I'm going to spoil it for you! (MuaHahahaaha, it's in the bible anyways) Jesus gets beat up really bad and it really pissed me off how everyone would work against the only innocent man in history. That Jesus is really tough, he can take so much pain and still have the strength to go on, not to mention he comes back to life. Well, after all he is the son of god. Personally, I'm supposidly Catholic - but it's really hard for me to completely believe in such religion so I'm semi-agnostic and semi-'my own religion'. I believe, whatever you believe will happen to you. Anyhoo, enough! Bye.

Trying to lay off the Xanga, I'm terribly addicted to looking if I receive any new comments. Although, I barely get any - I still check frequently to see if there are any. Hah, how horrid is this? Anyways, time to crack the whip and really lay off this site. So, don't expect as many posts, although I barely post anymore anyways.

Disapline. I've been trying to pick up working out once more. Today's my rest day, which I'll have once a week. Every other day is quite intense and consists of cardio plus a muscle work out of the upper, middle, or lower body. I'm trying to watch what I eat too. Alot of fruits and stuff, nothing too unhealthy... When I get a job I'll put in some protein whey into the entree. Anyways, thumbs up to excercise. I broke all my muscles and I feel great.

Damn it, I don't know what's happening.
I feel guilty and agitated for feeling guilty. Why is it that I must always fall into these little traps where the person who likes me, really likes me, and they are the one that I have little or no feelings for? Perhaps I am barely attracted to you, but either way I have no feelings for you. It's strange, with other's I know when I know that I even like them... but, I feel as if I don't fucking know shit. I tried to see if I could come to liking, I tried to see, what it is that I want... Which is sadly enough not you, I'm sorry. I know you won't be reading this, but sorry to say, it's causing me an unbearable pain - as if a sword envenomed within the most potent source of guilt were to peirce my solar plexus and tear it up slowly, twisting, cutting, tearing... Why me? Technically, I'm really an ass towards you and just you because I have no feelings for you? Is it because you along with a majority of females are attracted to assholes?  The hell... That does not click with my common sense or morales in anyway at all, but then again I'm not a female so I wouldn't really know. It's really true, that saying in which states that: the one you love, never loves you, the one you don't does. On the contrary, many will say "Oh, shit I know you - I can fucking read you like an open book asshole, it's all about wanting and it being a challenge or whatever shit man." Okay, you know what I say to that, FUCK YOU. I know me, and me knows me. It's not about any of that shit, it's about what I know and what I don't. What I did in this situation was tried to do is try to know something ignoring the true knowledge within my brain. God damn, such a tedious little obsticle in life. On a second note, yes it is always the ones that I like which apparently never like me in return. I guess I gotta learn to express myself better in the right direction.

Bastard. I want to break you in half, until your own bones pierce straight through your thin layers of flesh and the marrow oozes out along with a jetstream of blood. I'll smash you with my head, my fists, elbows, and knees. Yes, you can hurt me, but with my own set of morals and a surge of adrenaline at my fingertips nothing can stop me if you even try to provoke me. Even if I break, I am certain that you will break twice as much. Life. It's about what your willing to take, not what your willing to give. I am the divine wind.

Something inside me makes me infuriated, something that won't stop. There is no true face to the one that I hate most. All that exists is the pain and bloody stress in which I alone devote to this world. On a brighter side, the time of spring is here. Have a great week, everyone.

Metaphorically speaking, I no longer know up from down nor left from right. One second I think I'm fine, and then it exploads straight outta my chest like a brick of C4. Being lovesick once in a while is possibly one of the most painful things one could experience. No amount of scrapes, bruises, burns, and cuts could be equivalent to the amount of pain exerted through lovesickness. Gahhh, it pisses me off - this makes me sound crazy, but I jabbed myself in the heart a couple ten times an hour ago to ease the pain. This is why people associate love with the heart, only through this feeling may I understand. This yearning passively abrupts a vague feeling of nostalgia, the past had so many... What if then and now... Grr, but now's different, now is today! Without yesterday there is no tomorrow. Damn, robots have it so easy - bastards. Agghh, I don't know what to do... I'm a lacking character without a job. Sorry if alot of what I type today makes no sense, I don't want to reveal my mind on Xanga too much.

Ah, a wonderful sunny day, and best of all I get to sleep in because I get my spare during first block. I'm getting over my sickness, which is quite delightful! Ahaha... In no time I'll be pushing my body to the limit - much further than summer time. I'm going to run almost everyday, once my stamina is back to normal and above - then I can acheive anything. Once I can acheive anything, I will acheive everything. Grouse Grind: prepare for me, I'm gonna kill you this year. Todays the first weekday with school that I woke up to feel really good actually. Spring break is gonna be awesome this year - I'll do stuff everyday!

I've been neglecting to post on Xanga for quite a while. Anyways, the story is like so... I've gotten a nasty cold last week - Probably due to the lack of sleep and other stuff from Theatre Temp. Anyways, first it started out as a sinus cold, then as gravity goes - it went to a throat cold - then once more (gravity), it's in my friggen lungs! WTF? Anyways, I lost my voice and can barely talk!! I stayed home today, and now my energy's back in action, yet I have no voice. I'm trying my best to lay off the excercise, because that's just a bad idea when I'm sick - Might make me worse.

To make me feel even better <SARCASM!>, I have no clue what to do after I grad, NOW! Before I did, but that's a different story - somewhat. My friend said he's not going to go into programming anymore because it's too saturated - somewhat. Anyways, I'm really intimidated about having to take all these other courses. Some weird geometry/math thing and advanced calculus whatever crapola to get into the computer sciences in Ryerson University. Fuck... Maybe I should just pull out the good old "backup plan #1" outta my ass? Which is graphics? Graphics Communication Management sounds interesting, but can I really do this? WHAT THE FUCK! It's like I'm having a midlife crisis in my teens, why didn't I plan all of this long long ago. To all you kids: MAKE A PLAN OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE LOSER-MATT!