February 13, 2004
-
Today I experienced a mental breakdown where all my self esteem and trust in myself evaporated. Shortly after, I got a really bad headache. I felt as if I was going crazy and suspiciously looked everywhere around me, nervously, keeping in mind on my knife. On the way home I decided that a brisk walk in the park would make everything better. My concious kept repeating the same words over and over, "the park will make it all better, the park...". I got there and no, the effects did not take immediate impact. I started whispering to myself about life, death... I walked deeper and deeper into this little forest, reluctantly I found some trust in myself. Grr, What the fuck is wrong with me? That's what I get for neglecting my sleep on tuesday, I'm not a robot nor built for sleepless nights, sleepless days. Perhaps I've learned to take better care for myself. Never the less, today was one of my most fucked up days and tomorrow doesn't look too appetizing either. Save Our Souls. As a child I knew my mom was pretty crazy aswell, she had her mental breakdowns at times - life was stressful for her. But, I just wished and wished it wasn't at all hereditary, I didn't want to end up crazy like her... It was really scary being a little boy and having your mother threaten you with your life. I don't blame her, it's not her fault, atleast she tries. Hopefully I'll be okay for now, hopefully life will be sunny again. Hopefully something or someone can make it better... I am a mess.
Comments (9)
aww... mental breakdowns aren't cool at all... you just need some tlc and everything will be just fine
you're such a good son haha... it always takes me awhile to accept my mom's breakdowns.. i say the next time you have a walk in the park, bring a good friend along that can make you grin.. walking by yourself in a park can get quite depressing.. well to me :
heyy..lol nothins up lately..hows u?
wow mental breakdowns..need to relax a bit...i get those sumtimes too ...hmmm usually leads to me punchin n throwing stuff around...or its cryin my eyes outs hahaha then i feel like a whole new person again..
keep smiling.. u can do it..
but..no worries..tmr is always a better day dude
hey supsup? wa, like that quote at the top la. come visit sumtyems...long tyme no see
i really think every day is a valentine's day.. i mean i'm sure it's not only on feburary 14th that our friends family or loved ones care about us haha.. no worries, i've never spent valentine's with anyone special either
ah.. those good ol' elementary days where we buy those boxes of tiny cute cartoon cards and scribble 'happy vday' on the back of it... everyone exchanging with each other while receiving a few chocolates here and there.. gotta love those innocent days.
mmm... here's one quick card for ya!
---------------------------------
|
| to matt: |
| happy valentine's day
| <3 |
| much love, judy |
---------------------------------
hehe, take care
i think you're just suffering from internal constipation. let it free..you'll feel better afterwards. =) are you sure it's not necrophilia?!? that got me thinking and then my mind started having demented seizures cus of all these fuck'd up theories that dont matter one bit. thanks a LOT...matt. i thought your name was micheal? seems like you've had ur share of rough days. it really doesnt matter the depth of difficulty the situation becomes, but how you handle it that makes you who you are. cheer up okay? happy valentine's day.
happy valentines day! =]
r u arite puppy?
happy valentine's
hehe, it's aiight if u don't understand most of my posts hehe. not that important ^^ so wut u been doin'? wa, nice picpic on ur page...! where u take that? hehe..didnt read it..u tell me instead. yupyup, i'll come visit the next pro d day ~!
wahts a mental breakdown... u sound like ur burning out on weed.. hahaha!! AND THE WORST PART IS..!!
YOU NEED MORE!@@@@ =O
yes.. mat i hav no life be my bf plzplz
Comments are closed.