Today, I was in my car driving back towards the job site from Timmy’s. With one hand on the wheel and the other on my seeped tea (as I do not have cup holders), I saw a pair of brown squirrels at the very edge of my line of sight, in front of my car, scurry across the road. In an instant I was thinking, “oh shit, I hope my tires missed them.” One second later, I look to my rear view mirror to see one of the squirrels inspecting their friend rendered as a lump of fur plastered onto the pavement, then scurrying back towards the curb where it came from.

I didn’t bother getting out of the car to check on the victim, as it was busy with traffic. There really was nothing that I could do for it, a roadkill victim with a body that fits perfectly under the tire of a 3000 lb car probably broke many of its fragile bones. It would be nothing like a crow that broke its wing. Nursing it back to health would be nearly impossible.

My initial thoughts were, “fuck I wish that didn’t happen” and throughout the day mini scenarios of the couple reeled through the back of my head as I worked away and pulled wire. To myself, I imagined really cartoon-like visions of these critters as mates, in love, searching for a bite to eat or venturing back to wherever home may be only to have their short lived relationship succumb to tragedy. Sad, as it is I also imagined myself in such a situation as a squirrel.

Now, thinking about it logically, if there was one squirrel of each gender, then it is possible that the male could have been chasing the female. I killed the one leading the pace. Now just imagine a boy chasing the girl for some hardcore baby making only to watch her get crushed to death right before his eyes. It doesn’t make it any better, but it does eliminate whatever tragic love stories may have been envisioned in my mind. It’s just death.

I wish that didn’t have to happen. It’s the price we pay as humans living in a world of convenience and selfishness. The animals who live here have to suffer for our laziness, our greed to become “better” and more technologically advanced while the earth we squat upon deteriorates in some sense.

Sliced turkey breast + saskatoon berry jam make for some badass sandwich eating.

Classical guitar is all that’s on my mind and in my ears as soon as I get home, as of late. To be entertained is one thing, but to be fully captivated by music is another. One day, after getting through this thick muck of schooling I would love to be able to commit myself and pick up the guitar where I left off so many years ago. If only I found another teacher after Buddy moved back to the Philippines, then where I would be I cannot say. There are times where I feel mute as if I have no voice for my muse.

Sleep Deprivation
+ Catching a cold
+ Headache
+ Advil
+ Grande Mild, Venti Cup
+ 2 hours of gym
+ Surge & Creatine
= Fun

I am dehydrated.

I was offered a side job to work on my cousin’s spouse’s brother’s house for electrical and after an hour of text messaging turned it down because I simply lack the desire to dispose of all of my free time. Sure, I could make some extra cash on the side of my full time job, but I already feel as if I don’t have much free time to myself. Now I feel guilty, for not being a good cousin and helping out.

The amount of people under my subscription list whom continue to update regularly are dropping like flies. In fact almost no one ever posts anything at all.

It’s 2010 and I feel like time is slipping by way too fast. I need to do more productive things outside of work.