January 30, 2008

• Hello, Mr. UPS guy.

  There was nothing other than gold, deep within his head, I was so certain of it. At the very moment our eyes met, I rushed towards him with vigilance and pinned him against the wall with my elbow tucked deeply into his adam’s apple. The door slammed shut. His voice wrenched, as if being strangled alive. But, he could not speak, for inanimate objects are unable to speak. How absurd would that be, for completely inanimate objects to talk? Although, I am very sure of myself that if he were a real person he would plead and beg for his life. In fact, he just may have begged and pleaded for his life, although I forcefully broke all the cartilage in his trachea, thus collapsing his windpipe. Tears began to bead out of his eyes. I most gracefully held up my claw hammer in the reverse position, as to remove a nail from a piece of plywood and tore away at his skin, his flesh, his skull. I smiled, my mouth dripped and began to salivate. Simply to dig away at the dirt and find my gold. I felt greed, for fortune was near. But, alas, there was nothing more to find but a brain and myself drenched in a lavish red of blood and gore. Perhaps he was indeed a living man and not a magical treasure chest sent to me by my pirate minions of the other world.

  • 7:46 pm
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